I spent the day in LA with my friend Jen, who also happens to be an amazing photographer! Well, she made a video project and I got to be the subject. I may or may not have covered a Beiber song or two on ukulele. Jen was able to capture the passion I have for music and writing songs in such a real, raw way. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! For more about Jen, click here.
I’m an expert at starting things; it’s the completing that I’m not so good at. I have a small stack of books on my nightstand that I have been meaning to finish. In my backyard is some potting soil and mulch that I bought a couple of weeks ago for a backyard project that I haven’t gotten to either. And there are countless song ideas waiting to be finished on my phone’s audio notes app. Sometimes we are so excited, so passionate about something at the start, but when it comes to finishing, we run out of steam.
My initial thought is to disagree. “Well, what about all it took to start, and what about the hard parts in the middle where I wanted to give up? Isn’t that important too?” But, as I ponder this verse deeper, I come to realize that the end really is better than the beginning.
Have you ever heard of a Ragnar race? I hadn’t either until a friend of mine started posting about a race she was taking part in. A Ragnar is a running race that covers the shocking distance of 200 miles! The difference between a Ragnar and your typical marathon race is that it is completed using a team. In my extensive research (not really, I just looked at a few websites) I found that there are two types of teams, ultra and regular. Regular is a team of 12 runners, while ultra is a team of six. Now, I don’t mind running, but oh my stars, that is a lot of miles, even to share with others!
Imagine being the first team member to run on a Ragnar team. It must take an amazing amount of mental fortitude to wrap your mind around finishing a 200-mile race when you’re only just starting mile one. But these Ragnar teams don’t focus on 200 miles; they focus on their own portion. And when they come to the end of the race, I’m sure they all share stories of how they made it through their part of the race. How their legs started to give out on them, or how they wanted to give up. Once the race is over, they are able to look back on how they worked together and arrived at the finish line. They always say hindsight is 20/20. When we’ve come to the end of anything in life, a difficult relationship, a project that felt it would never be finished or a ministry that sometimes feels like herding cats, we can take a look at all that has happened and evaluate the lessons learned in the process.
I wonder what would happen if a member of a Ragnar team just stopped running and decided to quit. How disappointed would the rest of the team be?
Often times we tend to give up when the finish line is within reach. But, where your mind goes, your feet will follow. Sometimes it has more to do with wrapping your mind around the task ahead and remembering that God never leaves us on our own to accomplish anything He’s called us to. When you feel like you are running out of hope and the finish line seems too far ahead, let these words from Galatians 6:9 encourage you.
“So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.”
Hang in there my friends; it is always too soon to quit.
originally posted on https://calvarychapel.com
While I can’t bring a bouquet of them inside and place them in a vase, I do enjoy finding one of these treasures outside. Now, I’m sure all you gardeners know a dandelion is a stubborn weed; therefore, you are probably wondering why on earth I love them so much, but just follow me for a minute. A sense of wonderment comes over me when I see one of these cotton ball blooms peeking out of a lawn or garden. I instantly want to pick it up and blow until every little part of that puffy blossom is floating on the breeze. Maybe it’s the kid in me, or maybe it’s something more.
I recently learned from my less-than-pleased landlady that, while dandelions are a treasure for some of us, they are a curse to others.
Our newly sodded yard suddenly had dandelions popping up pretty much everywhere. She was definitely not very happy with me for allowing these weeds to live in her lawn. I began researching dandelions and found that they grow everywhere in the northern hemisphere, and they actually thrive the more you pull them!
The dandelion is first a bright yellow flower that then dies and dries up, leaving it to turn into the identifiable white bulb that I am always delighted to find. Not only that, but as I found out from my sweet landlord, every time one of those white cotton candy-esque flowers is wished upon and blown, hundreds of new seeds are planted wherever the wind blows them.
You may read all that and think two things: 1) Duh. And 2) “Okay, Shannon, that’s great that you embarked on a 6th-grade-level science project research mission, but what does this have to do with anything, and why am I still reading this story?” Here’s my point. I imagine each of our lives as one of those dandelions. We are beautiful, simply because God created us. We are His, we are loved, and we can be one hundred percent secure in that love. But, we are also guaranteed some hard times in this life. We know we will face sadness, sorrow and despair, which can cause us to wither. We can be left to feel like those little white flowers, dried up and completely fragile.
Each of the little seeds that are sent into a flurry are shaped like a flat little umbrella. They float about until they reach a destination (unfortunately for my landlord, it’s usually the new grass). Every time an excited two-year-old or fully grown woman (sideways smile) blows on one of these puffballs, we are planting hundreds of new seeds. From something dead comes new life. Now do you see where I am going with this? Isn’t it amazing!? How many times has God used your hard times to encourage another person in their struggles? God takes our dried up, broken down, dead lives, and allows us to plant new life in someone else, but we have to die first.
The seeds of hope that came from your tragedy will take off and land and take root wherever God has intended for them to land. That seed of hope will take root and cause the receiver to grow stronger.
Now do you see why I love dandelions so much? We are all little dandelions that go through seasons of growth, change, death and rebirth. God is constantly causing us to grow, walking with us through our hurts and using us to bring hope, always. I am more than willing to be broken for a time if it causes another person to find new hope and a renewed life. After today, may your view of the dandelion be forever changed! When you are aching for Jesus to take the pain and make you new, remember that He is doing just that. The seeds He is planting in you will go farther and reach more people than you could ever imagine.
This article first appeared on CalvaryChapel.com. Click the link for more great articles.
I am priveleged to be a guest writer for Calvary Chapel.com! Click here to read my latest post about being a clumsy kid and a pretty clumsy adult too!
I typically loathe routine. The same thing again and again makes me lose my mind a little. I even rebel against my own plans. For example I can make a to-do list for the day and then say "psshh! You can't tell me what to do. I'm not doing laundry today, today I'm watching Netflix". You see, I thrive in the last minute, and I am in love with spontaneity. Give me a spur of the moment coffee date, not a lunch date planned months in advance.
That being said...there is something comforting about routine, something grounding about familiarity. There's nothing and no one I am more familiar with than my husband Jessie, who I've been married to for 17 years as of today!
Being familiar with my husband goes beyond knowing how he takes his coffee. (It's black by the way, just like mine). What I mean is, I can spot him in a sea of surfers just by the way he moves from paddling out to sitting on his surfboard. From across a crowded room I can find him by the way he crosses his arms and gently pushes his shoulders back, then lifts one arm to his chin when he's intently listening. I know that whenever I'm away, even if it's just a weekend, I'll get a text from him telling me he misses me. When I place my hand on his knee in the car, he'll always cover it with his hand. These little bits of predictability bring little hugs of comfort and contentment.
This morning we were a tad jet lagged from a Costa Rican family vacation. So we got up early and headed to our favorite little coffee shop to steal a few moments before the day officially started. We sat and talked and laughed, took a selfie and shared a kiss and an "I love you" or two. We talked about how it's taken us this long to get past accepting our differences and graduate to celebrating them.
So here's to 17 years of finding comfort in the familiar. Here's to having fought for hope when there seemed to be none and being generous with forgiveness when it didn't come easy. Here's to loving the routine when escape seems tempting, and to embracing the next 17 years that God has planned that we can't even begin to imagine!
Coffee & cheers to 17 years!
I'm a runner. Not a marathon runner. I run from life. I run when things get hard. I run away when I don't know how to fix something. I'm like "yep, I'm out."
"Not Good Enough" by Joy Williams is an inspiring song for runners like me. It's a story of staying when it's hard. Of looking how far you've come & pushing forward even and especially when it hurts.
“ don’t you try to look away
don’t try to leave
try to stay
-Joy Williams
”
Trying to stay takes so much more courage and straight up gumption than trying to leave. An amazing relationship has been tested by fire, and has come out like pure gold. Does it get tarnished from time to time...yes, of course! But all it needs is some time and hard work and you can have that gold shining again.
Thats the the catch isn't it. The choice to work hard. The choice to stay.
Heres the deal friends. Ultimately, our choice is nothing without the power of God working in our lives to make the hard work possible. And it all comes back to love. Not our human love, but God's love. God's unwavering, unending love for us makes us capable of loving another human deeper than we ever thought we could. When our heart more than anything wants to run, our knowledge of God and the wisdom from God should remind us that we can stay, we can work hard.
“there is no fear in love
perfect love casts out all fear
-1 John 4:18-
”
I have proven time and time again that I can't perfectly love anyone, not even my dog. Only God can do that. And when I choose to love God back, he makes me capable to love, He gives me the desire to be faithful, and He gives me the strength to stay again, even if I've already laced up my running shoes.
While everyone else is talking about the bare red cups from Starbucks, I've got my mind on something that i dare say is a lot more important. That being said, I am pretty darn sure that buying a cup of coffee from an establishment regardless of what embellishments are, or are not present on said disposable cup (that will eventually end up in the trash) will not keep you from getting into Heaven. Ok, now that that is out of the way, here's what's got me thinking.
I've heard more than a few people recently say things like "to you God may be Jesus, to someone else God may be a tree, or God may be the smile on their baby's face." I've heard people say that there is a Scripture in the Bible that says this very thing. And that motivating, self-helpisms are pretty much the same as Scriptures in the Bible. Back the heresy truck up...what?! Not. The. Same.
I'm sure this belief has been around forever, and I am just late in the game, but here's what I have to say, for what it's worth. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God can be whatever suits you best. Nowhere does it say that God is a tree, or God is a sunset, or God is a rushing river, or a baby's smile. Sure, if you get outside when you're having a tough day and watch the sunset, you will feel refreshed. If you dip your toes into a refreshing river on a hot day, you will feel energized. And no one ever looked into a baby's face, saw them smile and didn't feel their heart warmed instantly. But none of those things on their own will do you any good when you need help, guidance or wisdom in life. None of those things will come to your rescue when you need it. But God, who created the world, and everything in it, (including you) CAN rescue you!
See, we get things a little mixed up. Think of it this way: Let's say you walked into an art gallery and admired a beautiful sculpture. Then you began telling the sculpture what a good job it had done. You just showered it with praise at the way it was chiseled so perfectly, and how no detail was spared. Now imagine the sculptor himself came up and said "do you like it? I created this!" Let's just say that you whipped your head around, gave the sculptor a quick once-over, and a disapproving glance as if to say "Do you mind?!" and then continued on telling the sculpture what a great sculpture it was? It is the same thing when we call creation "God". Not only is it an insult to the very Creator of the entire Universe, but when we rely on something/someone that can offer us no help in time of need, we will be sorely disappointed.
Beyond that, I truly believe that Satan is stoked when we allow ourselves to believe tiny bits and pieces of the Bible, usually the ones that fit into our life. Because a lie that is sandwiched between some truth seems a lot more believable. And as long as he can keep us busy making motivating posters with quotes we found on Pinterest instead of reading God's Word for help and guidance, then we aren't much of a worry for him. Don't get me wrong, I love a good quote from Pinterest. My favorite is the one Abraham Lincoln wrote that said "Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it." (wink, wink)
“a lie that is sandwiched between some truth seems a lot more believable”
The Bible is not a cut and paste art project. I believe it truly is the Word of God and it is for YOU! If you're looking for a Scripture in the Bible that says that we all see God differently, that I may think of Him as a tree, you may see Him as a bubbling brook, blah blah blah...you won't find one. What you will find is a verse in Romans that talks about His creation, and the way it proves God's very existence, so that none of us has an excuse to not believe in Him! I encourage you to go give Romans 1: 20-32 a read when you have a minute. It gives us a glimpse into just how slippery the slope of watering down God's Word, and denying His very existence can be. Don't believe it just because I said so, go read it for yourself.
Complete in Jesus,
Shannon
“For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God”
A glimpse of my recent trip to Israel. Just a little bit of proof that God is real & His creation is stunning!
In less than a month, I'll be heading to Israel for the first time! As if that wasn't exciting enough, I get to go with my Dad! I keep telling my siblings that he's taking me with him because I'm his favorite! While that may well be true, (hee hee) the purpose for this trip is much more meaningful. I will be leading worship at a Pro-Life Conference that my Dad is speaking at. Rather than trying to explain why it's special for me to be invited along, I thought I'd let my mom tell the story. After all I wasn't even born yet! So I'll turn today's blog over to my beautiful Mom. But before that, here's a brief introduction.
Meet my mom Joy. She is a pastor's wife, and mom to four grown kids. She has overcome much in her life to become a wise woman who loves Jesus and wants her life to reflect Him. Though I was an expert eye roller, and skilled back talker, she never gave up on me. I'm sure she probably has calloused knees from praying for me relentlessly. She gives and gives. That's my mom, and now, here's her story.
I’m excited to get the chance to tell you my story. Bill and I had been married for about 6 months when I became pregnant with our first child Bethany. When she was about 7 months old, I had a suspicion that I was pregnant again. There were no in-home pregnancy tests at that time, so I headed off to the doctor’s office to confirm the pregnancy. The nurse came in and told me that, yes, I was indeed pregnant…again! Her next words shocked me to the core.
“You know you don’t have to keep this one. You have your hands full with your first born, and you can have another one when it’s more convenient, or you’re better set financially.”
Shocked, I didn’t hesitate for a second. “No thank you.” was my response.
“Are you sure?” She asked. “It’s a simple procedure.”
“Why would i do that? I didn’t plan this child, but God did.” I said
“Well…what if it has something wrong with it? You could know that beforehand, and then you could…”
I interrupted her sharply “And then, I would still give birth to, and raise this child.”
“Well, it’s up to you.” She said reluctantly shrugging her shoulders.
“Yes, it is! And I will NOT abort this child.” I replied firmly.
I am thankful everyday that I made the choice for the sanctity of life.
“ I didn’t plan this child, but God did.”
You’ve seen Shannon, you’ve heard her sing. You should hear her teach the Word of God! Had I made a different decision, I would’ve robbed the world of this voice. I would have robbed myself of the joys of her childhood, and watching her grow up into the wonderful woman she is. I would have robbed Jessie, her husband of a wonderful wife. I would’ve robbed myself of two awesome grand daughters. The offer was there to "make my life easier", but look at what I would have missed out on. I’m so thankful I chose life!
God bless you guys, and keep doing great things for God.
Joy
My Mom and I have been excited to be able to do retreats and women's events together. She preaches, I sing! It's pretty special to be able to work alongside your family!
I know the subject of abortion is a sensitive one. I am completely aware that the choice my mom made is not the choice that perhaps you made. I want to be sure that you know that in writing this post, I am in no way judging or condemning you for your choice. We all make choices in life that we wish we could undo. Trust me, I have made my fair share and then some. The beauty of having faith that Jesus is real and that all He said is true, is that you don't have to carry the shame from your past. I would LOVE to chat with you about this if you have any questions or just want to share your story. We all have our stories, and that's what makes us all so uniquely beautiful!
I'm just going to get to the point today. Sometimes life just sucks. We all know this, but we don't say it because it seems unspiritual. But that's the truth, there ya go, I said it for you. You're welcome.
Things don't go as planned. Disappointment comes. Despair follows close behind. Then what?
Here's the deal you guys: God created the entire universe. He knows every intricate part of how it all holds together. Things that scientists can't figure out, God knows. He must sit up in Heaven and say "Aww, look at those cute scientists trying to figure it all out, I can't wait to tell them one day".
He also created you.
He knows you.
He loves you.
He sees you.
He knows what may be ripping your heart out.
He knows that you wish you could scream from the rooftops "I AM NOT OK!"
And one more really important thing to remember. . .
He's got this.
Doesn't matter how big or how small your crisis is, it's still your crisis, and it is so very real. I get it. It's hard to explain because people want to understand but they can't. You have to carry on with life, smile when you don't want to, laugh when you want to cry, and pretend when you have to be real. (Because let's be honest, you can't be real everywhere and with everyone).
But in the midst of crisis, it comforts me to know that God thinks about me more than I think about Him. Psalm 139 says that the amount of times God thinks about me can't be numbered, that if I could count them, it would add up to more than the grains of sand. That's just a stupid amount of thoughts for little old me!
“He thinks about me more than I think about Him”
Sometimes we don't need a big revelation, or a long Scripture, we just need to know that God is still thinking about us. Let me reassure you today, like He reassured me, He is absolutely thinking about you today, like a lot.
"That's just a stupid amount of thoughts for little old me"
I used to be a lot of things. A hardware store clerk, florist, radio DJ, Gap manager, preschool music teacher, personal trainer, Spin instructor and pyramid scheme sucker. I also used to be so scared of being a "has been". You know that person who used to be really good at something but it's obvious that at some point, they lost the plot and gave up.
At my Crossfit gym, I do pull-ups, push-ups, dead lifts and more craziness alongside some people who are easily a decade or more younger than me. I could use this as an excuse, give up and say "oh those guys are in their prime". But honestly, I say this with a little smirk on my face, and a sheepish sideways glance...it kinda brings out the beast in me! I regularly look at the daunting WODs (that's Crossfit language for Workout Of the Day) and say, "this may be the day I won't finish" only to realize to my amazement that I indeed did finish! As I gasp to catch my breath and wipe the sweat from my brow with my chalk covered hands I'm stoked that not only did I finish, I killed it!
Do I kill it every time? Absolutely not. That would be a blog for another day, or if you'd like to have a good laugh about my failures, go read my past blog "Beginners to the Shallow End". That'll fulfill your desire for pointing and laughing at my expense. I don't judge you.
I'm not writing this to plug my gym or brag about my strength. I'm writing to say DON'T QUIT! The career you chose went bust? No one bought the book you wrote? Your degree is useless? I'm so genuinely sorry. That's tough for sure, and I won't minimize that. But, I dare you to count your losses, pick up the pieces and if necessary reinvent yourself! You won't be the first.
Check this out:
Vera Wang didn't start her career as a designer until she was 40 years old
Beloved writer C.S. Lewis completed the Chronicles of Narnia when he was 58 years old
Kerri Walsh was 36, her teammate Misty May Treanor was 35 when they won gold at the 2012 London Olympic Games
Walt Disney's dream became a reality when he was 53 and Disneyland was open to the public!*
Oh yeah, don't forget about 90-something Sarah, from the Bible, popping out baby Isaac after she laughed at the thought of having a baby in her (very) old age.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to have a baby while I'm buying Depends in bulk, putting in my false teeth and turning up my hearing aids to frequencies only dogs can hear. But, I sure don't want to give up, decide that life didn't go the way I wanted and throw in the towel. I don't want to be a has been. I want to stay sold out for the plans I know God has ahead for me, even if it means picking up and starting all over again.
“I want to stay sold out for the plans I know God has ahead for me, even if it means picking up and starting all over again.”
All those people I talked about above come from different walks of life, different families, different pasts. But they all have one thing in common. They all had to be brave. They all had to do something new and different, and I'm willing to bet that they all were terrified at least once.
There is the opinion that when you are young, say 20 - 35 years old, you're in your prime. You know what, I think you're in your prime when you decide you're in your prime. And I choose to be in my prime today. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And the next day too. I know I will have to keep choosing to be in my prime when I am really not feeling it. But for now, I choose to not be a has been. You with me?
*the photos on the page are not my own.
My last post was about my recent battle with depression. I can't tell you how many people responded saying that they could relate, asking for prayer, and saying they were praying for me too! I just knew that speaking out about something as real as my own depression would cause people to come out from the shadows and be real about their own struggles! It was amazing how almost immediately upon posting that blog, it felt as if the fog began to lift. You know what I mean? I've heard it said that when a secret is no longer a secret it loses its power over you. Well, that proved true after being transparent with you all!
It was like coming back to the land of the living, or joining the party that was already going on. I was kind of like this little girl who was in a dead sleep, but then they played her jam! (which coincidentally is also indeed my jam) She didn't even know she was missing such a great dance party, until her favorite song came on. Once she heard it loud and clear, she danced with those sweet slippers like no one was watching. (my favorite way to dance).
So, I guess with this blog, I want to challenge you a little bit. Transparency isn't something that comes easy, but it gives freedom. Freedom from trying to live up to who people think you are. Freedom from who you wish you were. Freedom to be who you are in the moment knowing that your life is held safe and secure in the palm of the Creator's hands. Hiding in the shadows never got anybody anywhere. You know who hides in the shadows? Those who don't want to be found, and also cat burglars, they hide in shadows too. Since I am assuming that most of you are not dressed in all black with a black ski mask waiting to burglarize a Circle K, then I'll go with the first thought. Do you not want to be found...or found out? Can I be real with you for a second. God knows, cherishes and desires the real you. He desires for you to be found. He knows that when we isolate and lurk in the shadows of depression, fear, anxiety and the like, we will get further and further from the light that He offers to shine into that darkness.
“God knows, loves, cherishes and desires the real you”
Don't misunderstand me. I'm not challenging you to start a blog, post it on your Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. I am challenging you to open up to ONE person. Choose one person who is close enough to know your heart, and love you enough to listen without judgement. Maybe you think you don't have one person that you can really be open with. Chances are, you probably have more than one person, who would love to listen, if you gave them the chance. Sometimes we assume people will judge us before we even give them a chance, and trust them to be a great friend. BUT, if you really don't have one safe person in your circle of friends, I am absolutely here. Click here to get in touch with me directly, I would absolutely love to hear from you. I mean it! I want you to experience the freedom I felt when I took off my giant backpack called "Depression". Yours may have a different name, maybe it's fear, anxiety, sin, your past experiences, or maybe it's that awful ex-boyfriend's name. No matter what it's called, it's heavy isn't it? I would love to help you unload that heaviness just by simply being a safe, listening ear.
Until then, turn up your jam and get your dance on!
About 6 months ago, my daughter begged me to take her to a place called Therapeutic Riding Center. She had gone on a trail ride at a local equestrian center, and picked up a brochure for TRC. I had no idea what it entailed, and honestly I wasn't all that interested in adding another thing to our calendar. As I researched it online I thought it would be a great opportunity for her. TRC is simply put horse therapy for people with special needs. Special needs can encompass anything from ADHD to Cerebral Palsy. I decided to go through the volunteer training myself, and have been blown away by these students. They have taught me a huge lesson in perseverance.
The student pictured is one of my absolute favorites! She has to be carried from the car to the arena by her mom. She doesn't have any speech, cannot walk, and cannot feed herself. Some would look at her and wonder "How is she going to ride a horse?" That's where we come in. As volunteers, we have the privilege of walking beside the horse holding up the students if they need our help. I have been absolutely amazed to see students with severe disabilities be able to sit up straight on the horse, use the reins to steer the horse, and develop some language when giving the horse commands. These students and their parents are true pictures of perseverance. Multiple times, I have been side-walking with a student while tears run down my cheeks. I am so humbled to see them overcome such difficulty, and am so convicted when I realize all the silly little things I complain about. These students encourage me to keep pushing even when times are hard, and I don't see any way things could work out. And also, that it's ok to need some help, to need someone to help hold you up when you feel too weak to stand alone.
What are you facing today? What is standing in your way? What seems impossible to you? Be encouraged that if you press on, you will get there. You weren't meant to walk this world alone. The difficulties you face weren't meant to be faced in isolation. I admit that I try to fight most of my battles solo, and just end up defeated and alone. How about if you and I decide today that we will accept help when it's offered, and not cop out and quit before we reach the end.
“perseverance: steadfastness. despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”
It’s January 8th. Already 8 days into 2015. I had the best of intentions to write a blog on January 1st to start the year off. One of my hopes with this blog is that I can be a source of encouragement for anyone who thinks what I write is worth reading. So everyday into the new year I tried thinking of something inspiring. But, I was stuck in a rut.
“rut1
rət/
noun
noun: rut; plural noun: ruts
1 1. a long deep track made by the repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles.
2 synonyms:
3 furrow, groove, trough, ditch, hollow, pothole, crater “the car bumped across the ruts””
rut1
My number one desire for this blog is to be real with y’all. I think the world is chock full of people who give the appearance of perfection and always having it together. Me, not so much. Maybe you can relate with where I was. This definition of a rut is perfect for where I was. I’m a real visual person, so in my mind I could see myself alone in a desert, surrounded by nothing. I envisioned myself dusty, tired and worn walking around in the same circle again and again. I looked aimlessly down as my feet shuffled just enough to disturb the dry, brown sand until I had a well worn path. A path that led me absolutely nowhere.
But, what if I’m not really alone in the desert? What if I’m actually surrounded by lots of other people who are working hard on their own circles, head down, aimlessly taking the same steps again and again, wondering why they aren’t in a better place.
Can you relate? Maybe your New Year’s Eve was a bit underwhelming and you are wishing that you were in a different place in life. The fact is we all make New Year’s resolutions whether we admit it out loud or not. And I think that all of us have a certain level of fear that we will flat out fail, and walk back out to our circles again, picking up where we left off.
“When you want change, but don’t want to change, that’s a recipe for no change whatsoever.”
Here’s the deal: When you want change, but don’t want to change, that’s a recipe for no change whatsoever. Go ahead and read it again, cause I think I broke some writing rules by using the same word 3 times in the same sentence. Unforgivable I know. In all seriousness though, simmer on that thought for a minute. We can make a choice to continue making neat circle paths that lead nowhere, or we can choose to step out into uncharted territory and see what we have been missing out on.
When my oldest daughter told me the other day that she wished she could be a scientist, I told her you don’t have to wish it, you have to do it. So, now I challenge you (and myself) to stop wishing that you weren’t in the same rut. You just need to get out of it. No one else can do it for you. This is where you have to be brave and step out. Dust yourself off and get started. I won’t tell anyone that you started a little late, if you won’t tell anyone I did. Deal?
“God has promised that He can keep us from stumbling.
Take Him at His word, and don’t sabotage yourself by planting, entertaining & embracing temptation.”
Have you ever gotten stuck in a sin battle that only took place in your thougts? Where you are in some weird alternate reality, entertaining thoughts that shouldn’t be entertained, walking down an imaginary road of sin that you shouldn’t have even stepped foot on. Sure, you didn’t actually DO anything, but your thoughts took off like a hurricane that couldn’t be contained. And before you knew it, your heart felt heavy, your ears felt deaf, and your eyes felt blind. You feel that wall that stands between you and peace, you and comfort, you and Jesus. Crazy right? It’s amazing how all that heaviness is birthed in your mind, in your thoughts. It’s pretty ridiculous how quickly we can be swept away.
Satan is a sneaky little tempter, and his favorite place to hang out is in our thoughts. He’s a sick little gardener who will plant seeds of sin and temptation. And the really crazy thing is that we help him out! We don’t just let the thoughts stay, we then cover them up, water them, cultivate them, and let them take root. Why do we do this? Because it feels fun, it feels risky, and worse it feels safe because….well it’s ONLY in our mind. But, where does every battle begin? A root of sin in the mind will turn into action. Eventually we will make good on that thought we have been mulling over for far too long. And besides that, God says that when we've entertained these thoughts, we've already sinned outwardly. Ouch.
Recently, while I was out to dinner with a friend, I accidentally verbally vomited all of the details of a sin battle I’d been entertaining in my head. I was instantly mortified and wished I could press the rewind button back to the part before I spilled my guts while we ate our chicken salads.
“Well, have you asked God to forgive you yet?” She asked.
I froze midway through taking a sip of water. Then, rolling my eyes, I felt like a huge idiot. How could I have forgotten to go to the One I should’ve gone to in the first place? No matter how long you have been walking with Jesus, we all need a reminder from time to time of the simplest practice. I had let these thoughts hang out and take root in my mind. It was past time to get rid of them and accept God’s forgiveness.
My friend and I dumped our trays in the bin that said “thank you” and walked back to our cars. While we walked we talked about how life was hard, how we wished we were stronger, and how we wished we could beat Satan over the head with a baseball bat. When we arrived to our cars, we created a small but powerful prayer circle where confession and forgiveness and lots of crying happened. I left that night thankful for friends that spoke the truth, a God who forgave, and the Holy Spirit who kept my thoughts from turning into actions.
We all have bad thoughts that pop into our heads. Understand that this isn’t sin, but it’s when you hang out with that thought for awhile and start to make friends with it that it will begin to take root. Don’t get comfortable and cozy up to those intentionally planted thoughts. As soon as you hear them, drop them like the missile they are. Don’t let the enemy take you down. And, if you’ve entertained them for any amount of time, give them to God and ask Him to forgive you. Start over from square one, this time maybe put a fence up so you can keep that sick little gardener out.
In the process, in the waiting,
You’re making melodies over me.
And Your presence is the promise,
for I am a pilgrim on a journey*
Though the volume on my radio was quiet, the lyrics rang out as a loud reminder, and I felt the lump in my throat as tears began flowing from my eyes.
“Why are you crying Mom?” said a sweet voice from the back seat.
“Sometimes Jesus makes me cry, sweet girl.” I replied as my voice cracked. I was instantly reminded of the journeys God had taken me on. The valleys, the peaks, the deserts, and the oceans. I remembered the fact that He rejoices over me with singing (Zepheniah 3:17). His promise is His presence, and that is a promise that has been fulfilled again and again.
As I allowed the tears to trickle down my cheeks, I was thankful for the recollection of His faithfulness, His love, and His mercy. I needed to remember that the process, is not some sort of holding room where we are stagnantly waiting for Jesus to do something big. Rather, it is in these times of waiting that God refines, matures, and makes us ready for the big finish after the waiting.
It had been awhile since the awe of Jesus and His love had made me cry. I thought of the way He tenderly holds my heart, thinks of me more times than I could count, and delicately molds, shapes, and smooths out my rough edges. I felt so loved. My heart was overcome with thankfulness, and I was relieved to have been brought to tears, it just felt right.
There is something special about a love that makes you cry because of how great it is, a love that makes you cry happy tears. The fact that it is so undeserved is what makes it so precious. Oh, that I would be brought to tears more often, that I would be blown away regularly by His infinite, all consuming love. I want my heart to always remember while I’m on the journey that His love has not changed and it never will.
Perspiration rolls down my face while I run as fast as I can, watching the sun just barely rising in the distance. “C’mon Shannon!” I hear as I make my way back to the cavernous warehouse filled with gymnast rings, weight bars, truck tires, and the not so faint smell of sweaty people. It is 6 am and I am doing Crossfit.
I’ve been here now for 2 months. Still the beginner of the group, I am amazed at the strength, flexibility and mobility that I have been able to build. I certainly can’t lift what most of my class mates can, but compared to where I started, I have come a long way. Now, I could tell you that I just can’t wait until my morning workout comes. That I make sure to get a good night’s rest the night before, so I will be at my best. I could lie and say that I bounce out of bed excited to beat my body into submission…but the truth is, most of the time I drag myself out of bed, get dressed with only one eye open, and work hard to talk myself out of going back to bed. I am definitely not a morning person, and honestly the only reason I go most of the time is because I don’t want to be seen as a wuss. Truth is, most mornings, I just barely show up.
Showing up. Isn’t that the hardest part? Have you ever regretted doing something that would be a benefit to you if you just sucked it up and went for it? For example, have you ever regretted reading your Bible, worshipping God, praying, or going to church? I certainly haven’t ever regretted any of those, yet often times I don’t want to do any of them. There are a million things that can come between us and our time with the Lord. Maybe your kids are sick at home (you can still pray, every moment of every day), you don’t go to church because you don’t have any friends there (umm…you kind of have to be there to make friends), you have a hard time understanding the Bible (there’s an app for that). The point is, aside from all of our excuses and reasons why we can’t seem to do what God has asked us to do, we really, truly, need to just…show…up! Start praying, start reading, start worshipping, get your backside to church! You can’t expect to have a really great walk with God if you don’t do any of these things, because it doesn’t really work that way.
When you decide to show up, God will meet you right where you are. He will honor the time you have given Him. You will receive benefits you didn’t even expect, all because you just showed up.
I grabbed my prayer journal and plopped down on the rocking chair outside. The sun was soft and the breeze was cool, but I didn’t notice, I was too busy griping and complaining. It was a bad morning, plain and simple. A Murphy’s Law morning. Anything and everything had gone wrong. Tears flowed like Niagara Falls from my eyes as I scribbled across my journal. My words resembled the penmanship of a 4 year old as I wrote down all the raw, unbridled feelings and thoughts. As I neared the end of my rant, I felt it necessary to put a name to how I really was feeling. I scrawled the words all out on my page…
forgotten broken
ashamed helpless abandoned
alone empty incapable
sinful afraid
angry
And then I stopped. The faucet of my tears ran out, and I just stared out at the bright green grass in my backyard and took a deep breath. It was as if God gently said “Are you done now?” Sitting there silently for a few minutes, I glanced down at the words on the page and began to see them for what they really were…lies. The lies that the enemy excitedly places on me from time to time, and celebrates when I believe them. It was overwhelming realizing that I was placing these labels on myself and letting them be my identity.
I rocked back and forth as I felt the gentle breeze blow my hair back from my tear stained face. My Rescuer had arrived to pull me out from the pit of lies I had quite successfully dug and then jumped into. He flooded my thoughts with the truth He speaks over me. For every false identity I had taken upon myself, Jesus reminded me what He says about me, and gave me a Word of His own to back it up. I grabbed onto his rope of rescue as I then wrote down all the words He speaks over me. Turning the page in my journal, I took a deep breath and wrote (in my own 30- something handwriting) this prayer:
"I plead with You to help me see myself the way You see me. I hate that I believe the enemy and what he tells me I am. You tell me that You love me, You tell me you make me pure. You tell me that You sing over me and think about me all the time. You say You don’t leave me, that You don’t forsake me. I am blind to the way you see, and deaf to the words You speak to me. Jesus, I want to hear, I want to see, I want to believe. Please help me."
My friend, would you believe the truth that God speaks over you? Would you see my fall into this pit of despair, and subsequent rescue and let it speak to you? He hears your thoughts, He knows what you are believing about yourself and He feels your hurt deeper than you will ever know. His heart breaks when yours does. Will you pour out your thoughts to Him today? It doesn’t matter if you are scribbling illegibly on a notepad, or screaming it at the top of your lungs…speak it out so that He can meet you where you are and give you healing. Let Him speak over you today. Let Him open your blind eyes and your deaf ears. Allow Him to sing over you, to remind you how He really sees you.
Some people serve God loudly. I don’t mean obnoxiously, I mean publicly, in front of people. I guess I’m one of those. Almost everything God has called me to do includes me leading, or being in front of people. It’s not a bad thing to serve loudly, just different.
I just celebrated the life of a friend of mine who’s calling was opposite of mine. She served God, her family and her friends quietly. Pat was not a loud personality, but the way she served God and others spoke volumes. As I donned my most Hawaiian outfit and flip flops (at her request) and headed out for her memorial, I remembered watching her at church when I would lead worship. I would watch her light up as worship started and you could tell it was her happy place. Well not much changed as she reached the end of her life. I would bring my guitar over and sing with her…then towards the end when she was too weak to even keep her eyes open for long, I would sing to her as she rested. After each song when I stopped playing, she would quickly open her eyes as if to say “keep going…don’t stop.” She had more music in her iTunes library than most people I know, and would always ask about new worship songs so she could download them.
Listening to her friends and family honor her today made me think…no matter how “loud” my ministry may be it also needs to be quiet. My main ministry is leading worship. While this is a very public thing, worship is also very private, very quiet. What I mean is, in the quietness of my heart, I should be living a life of worship and of service. I want to fade into the background, serve quietly, walk quietly and live quietly before I go out and fulfill my “loud” calling.
Pat taught me that we all have our own calling, some louder than others…but the volume doesn’t change the impact. So live loud or live quiet, but make sure you live, love, serve and honor God in all you do.
In memory of Pat Morse“When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens.” - Madeleine L’Engle
Often times a song, poem, or piece of writing comes to me as if I have known it forever. When it is a song, I call it a God-song, although I should just go ahead and call any art God gives me a piece….there you go a God-piece. One that I can’t take credit for, but one that I merely opened and presented…much like untying a ribbon and gently loosening the wrapping paper to reveal the beautiful gift hidden inside. I remember the first time my mind was enlightened to the fact that God gives us these works of art as gifts. For right brained (creatives) like me, we often need to simply let the piece (song, poetry, sculpture, painting, dance, etc) be what it was meant to be. It wasn’t until I read "Walking on Water" by Madeleine L’Engle that I realized that as an artist, I was really just a messenger. The one who carried gifts, opened them and then presented them. Pretty much a vessel. Below is the newest gift that God gave to me in a time of discouragement. I pray that it will be a gift to you. If you are weary, let it be like water to your soul. It is after all a God-piece.
Sometimes we have a broken heart. A heart that longs for more. A heart that is saddened by reality. A heart that aches for fulfillment of promises that seem too much like fiction to believe in anymore.
At times we are fractured. Like an egg that is cracked, with yolk and white running out the fissures that appear. It’s a leaky mess, and we haven’t got the faintest idea of how to go about sealing it back up again.
Our head tells us it’s time to give up. It doesn’t logically make sense to carry on. The history shows that not enough has changed to make a huge difference, and simple math shows us that there have been more bad years than good, therefore making a very unpromising ratio. Our heart just keeps crying. It can’t seem to decide how it feels, shadowed by confusion. It hears our head telling it the logical truth, but it hears our soul whispering that there still is hope.
Ah yes, the soul. The part of our humanity that causes us to believe that there is more. The part of us that says there is hope when our head and our heart have given up. The soul is the part that God touches. Where He reminds us that He is bigger than we are, more powerful than we are, and that His plans for us are good. The soul is what makes us feel that maybe we aren’t so doomed after all. That maybe, just maybe, these cracks and fissures, rather than being a detriment, can be useful, to let the light shine in where there seems to be none. From there the heart begins to bubble with hope, and the head begins to be persuaded that maybe it can fudge the numbers.
Awake our souls, God. Cause us to feel You with our hearts, to believe You with our heads, and to know You from the depths of our soul.
